Being "YOU"

Kahlil Gibran once said, in speaking of child-raising, "You may give them your love but not your thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you." Now, I am not a parent thus I have no need nor am qualified to counsel parents. However, I think any sane person would agree that Gibran's statement is so true. In my last post, I opened up about some of my personal struggles and how I have learned to cope with them. What I didn't do is tell you how my struggles directly came about.

I think that just about every parent in this world, whether openly or secretively, want their children to be a lot like themselves. It's human. Now, though this may be true, I didn't say it was right. We are all born with some sort of predisposition. Some are good and some are bad. The drive to push your children to participate in things for your benefit and satisfaction is wrong. I was raised with the best of 'em. My father excelled in sports, was always a "ladies man" in high school, and thus I grew up watching ESPN and hearing pointless rants and raves at a television screen during football season. But me? I hated it.

Though I hated playing baseball and football, despised baseball cards and sports trivia, longed to watch a television show of my own instead of the bore of sports television, I was pushed so hard, whether deliberately or unknowingly to participate. I approached my father several times, telling him I wished to quit the team. His angered response:"But you love practice! I can see that you love playing! No. You are not a quitter. You really do like it." One thing my father and many parents out there do not realize is that each time you push your child into doing something they truly despise doing for your benefit is bumping up their depression level a little bit more each time.

What happens when that depression level peaks? You will find yourself in a therapist's office, or in my case, a hospital being treated for depression. Don't get me wrong, it seems I have painted this picture of my father being a horrible father and that is absolutely untrue. He and my mother were amazing parents growing up, and still are. But that one faction of his personality was terrible. Sadly, it took me getting very ill for him to reverse that mindset. Today, I have some of the most supportive parents in the world. I'm "out" to them, and they love and support me 100%. Does that former mindset spark up every now and then? Of course. Just as my eating disorder mindset will always be tucked in the back of my brain, so will his controlling mindset be. However, we learn how to deal with it and stop it in its tracks whenever it does arise.

The main point of this post is to remind people, whether you are a parent or not, that trying to control someone's life will not work. It ends in disaster and it is not healthy. The worst thing your child can hear are phrases like "He's a chip off the old block" or "He's a carbon copy of you!" It does not create a healthy fruition of self-identification and purpose. Again, I am not "giving parental advice" necessarily. Today's story was an example of someone trying to mold another individual into what they personally wanted them to be.

Good Thoughts,
Will

Set In Stone?

After 9 or 10 years interacting with social media sites, this has to be one of the best quotes I have come across yet. Whoever first said this couldn't have said it any better. Upon graduating  high school, I set out to earn a degree at College of Charleston majoring in Early Childhood Education. I had 2 years of student teaching under my belt, and I was bound and determined to be a first grade teacher. Well, as soon as I started taking classes, I felt I had found my niche in the English field. I was in love with reading and writing, and honestly had a secret crush on my English professor(I like that nerdy type). I could envision myself as that liberal English professor who wore jeans and a sports coat every day, constantly racking the brains of my hung-over college students. Well, life threw a curveball at me in the dating scene, and I wanted to move back closer to be near my boyfriend who attended USC(BIG MISTAKE!). Turns out, we broke up the week I returned home.

After seeing my peers post their 2012 college graduation pictures on Facebook, converse about moving away and starting their careers, I have to say--it can be quite the "pin in the balloon." I feel deflated sometimes, but I have to remember who I am. I've always been the one to constantly change my mind, explore new paths, and sadly lose focus instead of turning that explorative side into a positive one. Just like the last blog I started, I ended up finding myself getting busy doing something else, I moved to NYC for 4 months and return back to SC. But then I see this picture...it puts my mind back in focus. I may be one of those people who dabbles in a little bit of everything my whole life, I may never finish school, and may never "figure it all out." The truth is, and one of the best secrets in life is that none of us will ever "figure it all out." We are humans, and we constantly evolve. We meet new people, travel to new places, read that special book that hits that spark and changes our whole outlook on certain issues. 

When I was faced with Anorexia and Major Depressive Disorder in 2007, it was definitely one of those big spurts of my evolution. I learned so much, met so many interesting and wonderful people during my terms in the hospital, and found out much more about myself. Perhaps you have faced a very hard time in your life(we all do), and maybe you are one of those people who, like I was for a while, thinks they have or will "figure it all out" or have their life plan "set in stone." But let me tell you, and I don't care how old you are, you can learn something from someone of any age and at any evolutionary stage every day of your life. I'm only 22 and have found that out. I've discovered that I should never let others influence my evolution in a negative way, and to look at everything as a chance to learn. My advice: Get out there and show life that you are ready for it's challenges!

Love and Peace,
The Life Artist

Hendersonville, NC

Mountain Escape

OK, so I could not help but write about my fabulous weekend in Hendersonville with my boyfriend, Sanford, and our best friend(his cousin) Michelle and her son. If you've ever asked me in my 22 years what vacation I would pick between the beach and the mountains, I would always choose the sandy getaway; however, my escapade to Hendersonville, NC was incredible and my choice has definitely changed!

Sanford, my little real estate whore, found a great little cabin for only $131 a night! It was a house built in the 1930s from Poplar, Pine and Oak, so it was obviously built to last, and the comfort and coziness was astounding. It has a very serene and peaceful view on the back deck, equipped with an awesome gas grill, a river rock fireplace, and the best part--a cute kitchen with IKEA cookware( something that is a must for Sanford and I since we cook every night!).

L-R(Sanford, Me, and Michelle)

If you want convenience, well you have it at this place...only a mile and a half away, you can shop at Ingle's, Harris Teeter, or if you are an organic junkie there is also a Fresh Market all in the same area. The second day we were there, we cruised Main Street and it was like taking a step back in time. It was quiet, had wonderful shops and delis, and a great little bar, Hannah Flannigan's, for cheap beer where you can hear old-timers tell stories of historic Hendersonville(ask them about the drag races down Main Street in the 60s). But whatever you do, you may want to avoid the old soda fountain. The service was very...hm, odd. However, if you're dying for a milkshake, there is your place with many varieties of ice cream.

Hannah Flannigan's

We hated to leave, but will definitely be going back soon when the leaves start to change and we can put that fiver rock fireplace to use! Also, check out their website for dates on their famous Apple Festival(They are the 7th highest producer of apples in the nation!). To check out more pictures of the cabin itself, check out http://www.vrbo.com/314583. And the link to their website is www.historichendersonville.org.